February 2026: Newsletter

Mark Terrell
Feb 16
2 min read

Reflection

Lately, I've been reflecting on the idea of story and how each of us carries many of them. Ask anyone about a recent holiday, vacation, or birhtday, and before long a story emerges.

Through years of listening to people share their stories, I’ve noticed a common pattern: we often focus on the negative ones. The “what ifs,” “if onlys,” and “I should have…” narratives can quietly turn into what I think of as shame stories. When we get stuck in them, we tend to judge ourselves harshly or push the stories away. In my experience, neither approach is very helpful.

But what if there were another option?

What if, when these stories arise, we met them with curiosity instead of judgment? Curiosity asks us to be honest about the story while staying open to learning from it.

I invite you to try a small experiment. The next time a shame story shows up, pause. Take a deep breath. Then gently ask:

What do you want to teach me?
Where did you come from?
How are you shaping the way I’m living my life?

You may discover that even the stories we struggle with have something meaningful to offer.

Practice: The Examen

A simple way to begin noticing the stories you tell yourself, and how they shape your ecperience, is to make time for a daily reflection. There are many reflection practices available, and the most importan thing is to find one that works for you and to practice it consistently.

One reflection practice I’d like to highlight is the Examen.

Typically done at the end of the day, the Examen invites you to gently review your day through these steps:

Presence: Ask for light or clarity to see the day truthfully.
Gratitude: Give thanks for the specific gifts of the day.
Review: Reflect on the emotions, thoughts, actions, and stories you told yourself throughout the day.
Resolve: Look toward tomorrow, noticing both the joys and challenges that may arise.